


The Ice Queen and the Arsonist

by Mighty_Meerkat



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Assassins, Comedy, F/F, Flirty Rival Assassins, Give Elsa A Girlfriend, Murder, Non-smutty Mariselsa!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 22:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7011616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mighty_Meerkat/pseuds/Mighty_Meerkat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On Elsa’s long-awaited day off, she’s forced to hide a body with her rival Marisol Eldora, who might just be the closest thing to a non-family friend she has. Takes place in the Domestic Assassin 'verse, where Elsa works as a morally ambiguous assassin to pay Anna's way through med school.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ice Queen and the Arsonist

In Elsa’s line of work, she didn’t get many days off, so when they happened, she tended to savour them.  
She lay in bed until she heard Anna’s car leave for med school. She dressed up in clothes she never normally got the opportunity to wear. She ate pickled herring. She danced to cheesy 80s pop songs and sang along to Bohemian Rhapsody. And above all, she did not think about killing people. At all.  
All that changed at 17:16pm, when whilst watching Wheel of Fortune – ‘C’mon Patricia!’ – Elsa heard a series of grunts and then a loud THUMP just outside the door.  
The Arendelle flat was in a nice part of town – Elsa had overheard horror stories of walking home from school past people ‘getting intimate’ in the stairwell – but she was fairly certain if something like that happened in her neck of the woods, there would have been a committee formed about it. A horrible, sickening thought crossed her mind – Anna lying in a pool of blood, unseeing eyes staring up at her, everything white, but she put it to the back of her mind – Anna could almost definitely beat most of Elsa’s colleagues into a bloody pulp, not that she’d enjoy it.  
Most of them.  
Ice-gun in hand, Elsa moved towards the door, closed her eyes, yanked it open, and ... found herself looking at a pair of fierce brown eyes.  
“Ice Queen? You live here? Ah, shit” came the voice of Marisol Eldora: assassin, pyromaniac, and the only one on the squad Elsa genuinely considered a rival. “Yep, definitely her” Marisol said to the corpse she was holding “I’d recognize that pretentious-ass ice gun anywhere.”  
Before Marisol could make any more smart remarks, Elsa dragged them both – the woman and the corpse – inside the flat.  
“OK, why the hell are you here?!” asked Elsa through gritted teeth, still holding Marisol by the collar.  
“Calm down, Victor Fries” came the reply, surprisingly nonchalant for someone so close to being killed, “The guy just led me up here, trying to get away. What, you didn’t think I’d brought him up here as a gift for you?”  
“There’s no way you’re using your usual methods to get rid of the evidence this time” said Elsa, with a glance towards the lighter in Marisol’s left hand “We’re doing things the old-fashioned way – c’mon, we’ll put him in the trouser press in my wardrobe.”  
“Wait, who said ‘we’ in this conversation?”  
“Technically, he did when he came up onto my turf on my goddamn day off.”  
“Ah, so that explains why you’re so pleased to see me.”  
“Shut up, Johnny Cash.”  
“Touché.”  
“My room’s second door on the left.”  
As Marisol dragged the dead body across the flat, Elsa, swearing heavily under her breath, went to the kitchen to find the stain remover she kept for occasions such as this. Quickly, she nipped outside to scrub the first bloodstain on the doorstep until it was clean, then darted back in to fetch the pot pourri she kept so that the sweet but nosy Alsatian next door didn’t come sniffing.  
When Elsa came back inside, a completely corpse-free Marisol was sitting down on the sofa reading a gossip magazine, apparently immersed in an article about Westergaard Industries with a large glossy picture of a guy with atrocious sideburns and a cheesy grin talking about his favourite sandwich filling. Elsa coughed.  
“I didn’t know you were a mathlete in high school” Marisol grinned without taking her eyes off the magazine.  
“I was the geometry specialist. Plus, I used to use the Stare on the other team captains. We won pretty much everything. Your shirt’s covered in blood, by the way.”  
“School magazine – oh, you’re right. Is it OK if I use your shower? I’ve got clothes I can change into.”  
“Knock yourself out.”  
Marisol grabbed her bag and walked into the bathroom, while Elsa got back to the scrubbing. As the bloodstains slowly started to fade away, Elsa had a horrible thought. Marisol had been in Elsa’s room, and knew she was on the mathlete team, and she could have only gotten that information if she...had been looking through Elsa’s yearbook.  
Elsa did not like her high-school yearbook. To her, it seemed to be a reminder of how little she fit in with people her age, how she just wasn’t a normal person. As an adult, she knew it sounded petty, but there had been hardly any signatures, aside from a few indecent propositions and insincere notes of farewell. There were no in-jokes or nicknames anywhere. The more Elsa thought about it, the more she realised she didn’t really have any friends outside of her family.  
Apart from Marisol.  
Elsa started. They teased each other. They had nicknames for each other. They made jokes about each other’s killing methods. They were friends. Possibly best friends. Elsa wasn’t sure whether to be scared or pleased.  
When Elsa finished wiping the floors free of blood, she stood back, and reflected on her new befriended state. She was just wondering how she could explain this to Marisol in a way that didn’t make her sound really sad, when the key turned in the lock, and Anna walked in.  
“Hey, Elsa!” sang her sister as she dropped her keys in the bowl and slung her satchel on the hanger, “How was the big day off? Oh, you look nice, by the way. Not that you don’t normally, it’s just, y’know, you’ve...smartened up a bit. Hey there, Olaf” she cooed suddenly at the Arendelle’s newest, smallest kitten “Did Auntie feed you while Mommy was gone?”  
“Yeah, I fed him. So, uh, day off went well, didn’t really do anything much, how was your...wait. Why are you looking-” Elsa slowly turned round, following Anna’s gaze. There, frozen in the bathroom doorway, halfway in the middle of drying her hair was Marisol.  
Elsa’s mind raced as she tried to think of possible excuses – this random woman managed to break into our house and have a shower, oh, and by the way, there’s a dead man hanging in my trouser press, don’t ask why, how was your day - before she heard Anna speak.  
“Elsa, you – you stinker!” Anna spluttered “Why didn’t you tell me you had a girlfriend?!”  
Now it was Elsa’s turn to do a double-take.  
“Um, gosh, didn’t I tell you? Ah, crap, guess it must have slipped my mind; you’ve always got so much on what with med school, anyways, um, Anna, this is Marisol Eldora, my, erm, girlfriend, Marisol, this is Anna, my lovely, forgiving sister who didn’t know about us.” Elsa eventually managed to get out, complete with a nervous glance towards Marisol.  
“Right. Gotcha. Hi...Anna.” Marisol’s smile was so wide it looked as though her face was about to split in two.

Dinner was awkward.  
The only person interested in talking was Anna – the ‘happy couple’ were both suddenly very, very interested in the lasagne before them, though Elsa thought Marisol might have been blushing.  
“...But that’s Elsa to a T, although you probably know that already. For her tenth birthday, we hired this magician and he called her up and asked if any of the boys at the party would like to be her boyfriend, and this guy Jack stood up, and Elsa just went really pale and still and then threw up. And thinking back, that’s probably the first clue I had that Elsa was gay. That and the Cara Delavigne poster she has on her bedroom wall. So, Marisol, do you guys know each other from work? Are you HR too?”  
“Yup, that’s me” mumbled Marisol between mouthfuls “I’m all about being humane. And resourceful. And that stuff.”  
It was an astonishing transformation – cocky, brash assassin to shy desk jockey. If Elsa hadn’t been preoccupied with Anna’s sudden announcement, she would have found it rather cute. She’s always known I’m gay. I didn’t know I was gay. Hey, suddenly the whole of my time at high school makes so much more sense. I wonder if Marisol likes girls. Maybe we could actually go out.

After dinner, Marisol finally made her exit, though not before safely getting the corpse out into the dumpster outside. Unfortunately, Anna suddenly decided that it would be really nice for Elsa to walk with her to the bus stop, and Elsa had the sneaking suspicion that her sister and the police guy from across the hall were following them and watching.  
After an age of silence, Elsa made the first move.  
“Well, that was awkward for both of us” she piped up.  
“Jeez, tell me about it” came the reply “Well, I suppose I’d better go and collect my money now.”  
“Thanks for covering me.”  
“And vice versa.”  
“Actually, the whole having-a-girlfriend thing’s given me a pretty good long term cover for when I’m away a lot.” Elsa suddenly said, before gulping “Could we...keep it up?”  
“Yeah” said Marisol “Yeah, that could work. So, coffee at Oaken’s on Saturday?”  
“Yeah, that’d be brilliant!” stammered Elsa.  
“Seeya Ice Queen!” sang Marisol, as she leant over and briefly kissed a lobster-red Elsa’s cheek. Elsa swore she could hear her sister hissing “You owe me ten dollars, Bjorgmann!”, but in all honesty she was staring at the rapidly disappearing figure running to catch a bus.  
“Bye, Arsonist.”


End file.
